What if the therapist judges me?

Regardless of how bad you think the issue you’re dealing with is or how embarrassing it may be – therapists are trained to meet you where you’re at, to hold unconditional regard for you, and to check their biases and judgment at the door when meeting with you. The reality is that no matter what you’re dealing with, it is likely the therapist has already heard and worked through the same concerns with others previously.  There really are very few things – if anything – that therapists haven’t heard.

If you’re just starting a new relationship with a therapist, be aware that it’s normal for it to take time for rapport to be built. After a couple of sessions, you should start to feel more connection with your therapist and more trust in them and how they’ll respond to you – which continues to increase over time.

Sometimes it is possible that communication or perception may be misconstrued. Think about it! How often do we see a facial expression or hear a statement and immediately hear or assume something? Sometimes, that may be the correct interpretation. It is also possible that sometimes we miss the mark. If a statement or expression reminds us of one we have seen or heard previously, we may attach the same meaning again.  If you feel the therapist is judging you, talk to them about it.  After all, in therapy is where we can safely explore these kinds of issues. It’s possible that the therapist has no idea this is what you’re feeling.

However, if this is not a new relationship and you feel like you know your therapist well enough to know they are going to judge you, or you explore your concerns with your therapist and end up feeling they are judging you, my advice? Find another therapist. There’s nothing worse than having to tip-toe around the issues that truly matter, and you deserve a therapist that can hold true to the ethics of their profession – which includes creating a judgment-free, supportive environment to support you through whatever you bring up. You won’t be able to bring the real you into the therapy room if you’re feeling judged, and that will not only inhibit your progress but over time, may cause more frustration for both you and the therapist.

In the end, therapists are still human, and as such, it is possible you may feel they are judging you. But this should certainly be the exception, not the norm.  The therapy space should be a safe, welcoming, and non-judgmental space for you, and that includes a therapist you feel safe with, heard, supported, and not judged.